Specialties:
Individual & group therapy for Autistic & ADHDer adults:
Questioning or late-identified high-masking, non-stereotypical Autism/neurodivergence
ADHD (questioning or previously identified/diagnosed)
Mental health & helping field professionals (therapists, HR, nursing/medical, teachers/professors, etc) who are or question being Autistic/neurodivergent
Internalized PDA profile of Autism
Couples/marital therapy for neurodiverse or mixed neurotype couples
Narcissistic Abuse recovery
I provide online individual, couples, & group psychotherapy for questioning or late identified neurodivergent/Autistic/ADHDer adult clients located in Texas and most states in the US. A big part of my work is helping clients who are not sure if they are Autistic and/or an ADHDer but want to explore that more for their own knowledge and to better their lives.
I’m a licensed psychologist with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. I work from a neurodiversity affirming and strengths-based lens. I offer optional readings each session that I select tailored for you and your current concerns, at no extra cost.
Please email me (drjennifermcadams@gmail.com) or text (281-239-9771) to set up a free 20 minute online consultation so we can get to know each other a little bit and see if we'd be a good fit to work together. I see clients via telehealth (online), Monday through Thursday 9am-2pm (Central time zone). I’m located in and schedule based on the central time zone, but I see clients who are located in other time zones too.
I only conduct therapy and don’t provide formal autism or ADHD reports/letters. I also don’t complete or provide other types of evaluations or letters. I can diagnose though, for your knowledge, if that is of interest. I help clients determine and fully understand their neurodivergent profile in regular sessions and what it means for their lives without having to pay thousands to get a formal report based on the outdated assessments that currently exist. However, I’m happy to provide referrals for providers that produce those formal reports if you are interested.
I am able to see clients online who are located in MOST states of the US. Those states are as follows: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.
More About My Specialties:
Late-Identified, High-Masking, Highly Perceptive, Non-Stereotypical Autism/Neurodivergence
I specialize in helping clients who have begun to suspect they have aspects of Autism/neurodivergence or have recently identified themselves as Autistic/neurodivergent. My clients don’t fit the stereotypical, textbook picture of Autism so that’s why it’s hard to see it fits them, and they realize it later in life. Some of the information coming out on social media about Autism from the new neurodiversity affirming lens is often how my clients start to realize it might fit them. A lot of my clients find the word “Autism” hard to read/say or feel that it fits them, partly due to the stigma but also because my clients don’t fit society’s understanding of this concept; in a lot of cases they have the exact opposite of some of the stereotypical traits.
I work with “high masking” Autistic people who’ve historically learned to hide or not fully express their authentic selves; these clients might be so used to and skilled at this, they don’t even realize they’re doing it. They tend to be good at picking up on social cues, reading other peoples’ feelings, and recognizing patterns in the world and in others, which is the opposite of what society is taught about Autism. This awareness can feel like a burden, and it can be very draining, especially when we get messages from others to not listen to ourselves and that we’re incorrect. Actually what we’re experiencing is often accurate and real, but we might doubt it. My clients often like to learn about psychology, deep dive about their interests in a way that others don’t get, have unique social perceptual abilities, don’t like small talk, and want to connect deeply to others, but they have felt misunderstood or had a hard time finding or keeping connections with people who fully “get” them. Some of my clients historically learned on alcohol to help “mask” and dull the sting that existed within these interactions.
Some of my clients have related to the “highly sensitive person” label, but others are actually under-sensitive without realizing it and don’t resonate with the sensory difficulties at all of trouble with clothing or texture in foods etc. If you’re under-sensitive to some sensory stimuli, it can be even harder to think that you’re Autistic, since again, that doesn’t fit the stereotypical image.
ADHD
Though some of my clients were previously diagnosed or had ADHD mentioned to them as a possibility when they’re younger, a lot of my clients might not realize they have ADHD or only come to realize it late in life, due to not fitting the stereotypical profile, such as outward signs of hyperactivity, disruptiveness, or extreme forgetfulness. Girls and women, in particular, have been grossly overlooked in this area. Sometimes, clients’ autistic traits, giftedness, building systems to cope, hard work, and/or vigilance can contribute to ADHD being harder to see. ADHD might be part of the explanation for a client’s changing interests/hobbies/jobs, interest in novelty or intense stimulation such as concerts/parties/dancing/travel, fast and nonlinear thoughts, and difficulty being on time or completing tasks without using a lot of systems or effort. A lot of times these systems or effort are so ingrained, a client might not realize they’re even doing them. It can be surprising to hear or believe that not everyone is having to work so hard for the same outcome. ADHDers tend to have deep shame and internalized ableism from the messages they’ve gotten their whole lives for being “lazy,” “not living up to their potential,” “not applying themselves,” “not caring,” “just making excuses,” or any of the other judgments they’ve heard countless times from others who aren’t understanding the root cause. Most of the advice for ADHD can be incredibly simplistic like to try harder, getting planners/calendars, using timers, and setting reminders, which can be so frustrating or demoralizing. My approach draws from much deeper theory and current research on what works for ADHDers, in addition to tailoring the treatment to your unique profile and manifestation of ADHD, rather than a “one size fits all” approach.
AuDHD
Most of my clients are AuDHD, meaning they have both Autism & ADHD, or at least some traits of each. Clients can often feel like they have two sides of themselves at war with one another. The Autistic side wants recovery time, routine, structure, familiarity, safety/stability, clarity, and certainty, while the ADHD side craves novelty, stimulation, experiences, socializing, etc. Sometimes our impulsive ADHD side commits to things in the moment that our Autistic side later regrets. The strategies for just ADHD or just autism might not work as well if you have both; working with an AuDHD profile requires creative strategies attuned to your unique profile. Some clients have a stronger Autistic side or a stronger ADHD side, but for some, both sides are pretty evenly matched. The strength of each side can vary depending on how dysregulated you are, medications you might be taking, etc.
Mental Health & Helping Field Professionals Who are Autistic/Neurodivergent
Some of my clients are mental health or “helping” professionals themselves (HR, nursing/medical, teachers/professors, communication specialists, etc) and unknowingly went into their fields of work partly due to their Autism/neurodivergence. They might have psychology or communication as a special interest of theirs that they find endlessly interesting, and they know more about it than most of their colleagues as a result but doubt this about themselves. They might have been interested in this area because it was helping them to learn to “mask” or fit in with society, without even realizing it. They also might be trying to help others, like they wish they had been given. Research shows autistic/neurodivergent people often make excellent therapists and helping professionals for a number of reasons, including the following: our dedication to learning, our perceptive abilities, our pattern recognition, and our increased ability to understand people of a similar neurotype, etc. They might have unique approaches or theories in their field which could result in them being quite successful in their career or struggling and feeling like an outcast/imposter.
Internalized PDA
I also have experience in working with the internalized PDA (persistent drive for autonomy) profile of Autism, meaning people who highly value autonomy and rely on masking and people pleasing/fawning to cope with life. This is not a disorder, but just a certain profile of Autism. These clients tend to not like some social conventions or interactions that seem fake or superficial, like going to parades/pep rallies or small talk. As a feature of this profile, some of my clients are quite empathetic and caring while also being drawn to one or more dark themes, such as horror movies, rock/metal music, villain characters, dark humor, Halloween, disastrous/mysterious historical stories like the Titanic or Chernobyl, death, and/or true crime. Some of my clients feel like they have a rebel part of them or a part interested in these dark themes that they have learned to conceal, as others don’t quite “get it.” I consider PDA to be largely a matter of somebody just seeing and facing some realities about how things are, with less sugarcoating it.
Clients describe it sometimes like feeling like the “stars have to align” in order to get certain tasks done and might have previously thought it was “laziness,” executive dysfunction, or just burnout, when PDA might be a part of the picture. Neurotypical or even some traditional ADHD/autistic strategies often will not work well for you if you have this profile; working with a PDA profile requires creative strategies uniquely attuned to you and your needs.
Couples Therapy for Neurodivergent Couples
Truly neurodivergent affirming couples therapy is rare and hard to find, as most therapy research and theories are not designed for this population. Research shows that neurotypical couples therapy can be harmful to neurodiverse couples, sometimes more than receiving no therapy at all, and most of my clients who previously sought out couples therapy with other providers report having this experience.
I help couples learn each of their unique neurodivergent profiles and what it means for them. I assist couples in recognizing their unique strengths and how to design a life that capitalizes on those. Whether neurodivergent couples are presenting wanting to work on communication, conflict resolution, their sex life, division of labor in the household, adjusting to life transitions, etc, coming at it from a very open-minded, outside-the-box style is usually the key to progress. A lot of neurodivergent couples struggle or have conflicts partly due to misunderstandings from ableist messages they’ve received from society or neurotypical assumptions about how best to proceed. A lot of skills and techniques neurodivergent couples have learned might actually be the opposite of what will work best for them. I help couples figure out strategies tailored to them and their particular neurodivergent profile.
I offer couples to see me individually for therapy too, if they’re interested. This can provide a fuller picture and potentially accelerate progress.
Narcissistic Abuse
Many neurodivergent people have also experienced narcissistic abuse, so that is another specialty of mine, is to help them heal and prevent future abuse. This can occur to us from family members, friends, romantic partners, bosses/coworkers, etc. I am able to help clients who experienced both overt/grandiose or covert/vulnerable narcissism. Narcissists or manipulative people can wear all kinds of masks and do not fit one mold.
A lot of my clients have had a pattern of very close and intense relationships/friendships that ended suddenly or have been very confusing and hard to recover from, even after a long time. We can tend to ruminate about these relationships, trying to figure out what happened and how to make sense of it. My clients tend to overly blame themselves or assume this happened due to something “wrong” with themselves or some misstep, when that’s often not the case. We can feel bad for thinking about it so much and wondering why we can’t “move on” or keep mentally looping on the situation.
Overt/grandiose narcissists are closer to the image we all have heard about narcissists: extroverted, a need for excessive admiration, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, entitled, etc.
Covert/vulnerable narcissists can present in ways that seem very different from, and in some cases the exact opposite of, our stereotypical picture of grandiose, obvious narcissism. Some narcissists present as vulnerable/shy/introverted, and people often feel bad for them because they often present as depressed, having low self esteem, or feeling misunderstood, which can hook Autistic/ADHDers since we often relate.
Covert/vulnerable narcissistic abuse can last for years or decades, be very subtle and hard to spot, sometimes involves neglect or the deprivation of needs rather than overt mistreatment, and in some ways can be more harmful because it’s harder to believe it yourself that it’s abuse and harder to get support from others. The cycle of abuse can be very hard to detect in these cases but still tends to follow the idealization (honeymoon period), devaluation (subtle ways you start to feel like a burden/problem or like you’re hurting them when it’s the opposite), and discarding (breaking up or pushing away) cycle. A lot of the time they can be so helpful or romantic or nice, but at other times they feel so confusing or cold. Some covert/vulnerable narcissists do the final discard after years or decades in unbelievably cruel ways out of nowhere, sometimes completely abandoning their family members, partners, or friends with no notice or warning that anything was wrong and act like a completely different person.
Some covert narcissists are also communal narcissists so they make a big show about helping others, volunteering, and acting nice. This can be especially confusing, as they can be well regarded by others and go above and beyond for them but then behave differently behind closed doors.
There is a common narrative I’m hearing that supposedly narcissism is being overblown or too easily thrown around, and I disagree. I think it’s not being talked about enough and is being missed a lot. According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a well-known psychologist specializing in this area, roughly 1 in 5 people exhibit noticeable narcissistic traits (fewer meet criteria for full narcissistic personality disorder), which are enough to cause a lot of harm. Psychologically unhealthy people can fall along a continuum from emotionally immature to moderate narcissism to malignant narcissism to psychopathy.
How Therapy with Me Can Help:
I help neurodivergent people with a variety of concerns or goals, including but not limited to:
understanding and learning more about your neurotype (Autism or ADHD) and unique identity or if these even apply to you
attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or formerly ADD) and executive functioning difficulties/differences
romantic relationship, friendship, and/or family difficulties
problems with forming or maintaining fulfilling friendships/relationships or "finding your people”
figuring out how to best navigate your neurodivergence and self-growth with family members who might not get it
healing from and understanding the inevitable trauma from being a neurodivergent person in a neurotypically geared world and other traumas/abuse
recovering from abuse or mistreatment from others (sometimes emotionally immature or narcissistic individuals)
learning what mental health tools and supports work for you
unmasking to the degree you choose and better understanding your “authentic self”
learning ways to recover from and reduce burnout cycles (what might seem like depression)
understanding your sensory needs, which can sometimes be the reason for chronic anxiety
You might be highly sensitive to sensory stimuli, under-sensitive, or some combination
coping with nervous system regulation and overload (meltdowns which might seem like panic attacks or shutdowns which can seem like dissociation)
determining how you want to navigate within a neurotypically geared society
stress/anxiety, including social anxiety
learning how communication or identifying/expressing emotions works for you and how to bridge the gap with others
intrusive thoughts/obsessions and compulsions (OCD)
this is related to “looping” or “ruminative” type thinking which is common for our neurotype but can also be distressing
coping with life transitions/changes
desire for personal growth
getting back in touch with your “authentic self” and desires/needs/feelings
building meaning in one's life
self-esteem or confidence difficulties
career or academic concerns
sexual difficulties and wellbeing